The Magic of Snail Mail Letters

Many people wonder what makes me enjoy passing my time writing letters like in an old novel. They don't understand why I'm so delighted at using ink and paper instead of a computer, even more so because in general typing is so much neater and quicker. The truth is that for me composing a letter is an important mission and one that is surrounded by a certain magic. A letter is more than just a piece of paper with words written on it. A sealed envelope contains more than a message, it comprises the whole personality of the sender. 

For me writing a letter thus doesn't start with the first stroke of the pen on a sheet of paper. The first step is to choose the right paper for the purpose. Size, colour, design, quality, and finishing all matter. Then I decide about the pen. Sometimes a fountain pen seems more appropriate than an ordinary ball point, sometimes I feel like using ink that isn't blue. If possible I also take care to pick the right envelope and the right stamp. It's important that they match with me and my pen-friend or it might spoil the whole impression... and the magic.

Composing my letters is a ceremony that needs peace and quiet as well as time. Handwriting a letter doesn't forgive being in a hurry. There's no copying and pasting in an old-fashioned letter, so before actually writing it's necessary to make at least a mental draft. I need to know what I want to say, express, explain. Writing a letter also allows, even requires me to slow down which made it one of my favourite ways to practice zen. Answering to the letter of a friend makes me forget the whole world around me for a while. There are only the two of us left.

And when I finish my letter, it's a magic link between me and my pen-friend.

The Coming and Going of Snail Mail Friends

As an avid snail mailer I have to deal with the fact that not all pen-friendships last forever. There’s a countless number of reasons why even long-standing contacts break off sometimes. Essentially it’s because people and conditions change. Often it’s just for a permanent lack of time on the one side or the other. Occasionally it’s for more serious reasons like illness, exhaustion or the necessity of cutting costs. Sometimes the initial enthusiasm has waned and the snail mail friends drifted too much apart. In that case it’s likely that expectations have been too great from the beginning.

I’ve been lucky to find many very loyal snail mail friends, and yet, it happens every once in a while that someone bids me farewell. It’s always sad. Despite all I accept the step and try to understand it. In the end you can’t force anybody to be your friend for a whole life and to keep on writing letters, can you? When I lose a pen-friend, I rarely go out looking for a new one. You can replace soulless objects, but it doesn’t work with the living and breathing… at least not for me. If I browse the internet for one or two new snail mail friends, I do it because I feel that it’s time.

To my experience the best way to choose a new pen-friend is to be picky at first and then to let go all expectations. Some people are sending out heaps of empty messages to potential snail mail partners expecting to be received with open arms. Of course, they are disappointed by the meagre response. As for me, I often don’t even reply to those ‘Hi, I’m Jane Doe. Will you be my snail mail friend?’ requests. The other extreme are those who bombard you with very precise demands like ‘Would you please answer this questionnaire first to see if we match’. I reject those, too.

My strategy is to thoroughly read the online profiles of people looking for snail mail friends on www.interpals.net (my favourite site). In general, this gives me an idea of the person behind the lines and it allows me to see if we have enough in common to make a fruitful snail mail exchange somewhat probable. For the rest, I let my intuition guide me since it proved reliable in the past. Everything else remains to be seen with an open mind. Expectations would only ruin the surprise and they could rob me of the pleasure of getting to know someone who is completely different from other people I know.

Letter for You

Dear reader,

how are you? I hope that you're in good health and in a good mood. Both are almost as important for the reader as they are for the writer because they have a share in whether you’re in the right or in the wrong frame of mind for a conversation. If you don't feel well, it might influence your opinion on the letter you just received or on the person who took the effort to put pen to paper to join you in words. Being swamped with work waiting to be done or being absorbed in the cycle of your daily worries can be just as harmful because you won’t be able to appreciate or even enjoy the letter. You’d better give me and my likes your full attention. So please take your time, empty your mind… and then read this. 

Don’t get me wrong. Writing snail mail letters isn't about sharing only good news and pleasant feelings with someone who is living far away. If you ask me, a good pen-friendship actually has a lot in common with a marriage. It means sharing your life in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. Of course, someone who never wrote postal letters will find it hard to believe how close you can feel to a person who you might not even have met face to face. Despite all I can assure you that a good pen-friend can help you through hard times with nothing but words of understanding and support or sometimes even without words when there’s nothing to be done except being there for the other. I speak from experience!

The fact that snail mail correspondence isn’t an immediate means of communication even is an advantage. In an e-mail or in a facebook post you often write down anything that crosses your mind at the very moment, even if it’s something that you wouldn’t think of anymore a short while later. When you handwrite a letter, you do it with more care. You decide whether an information or comment deserves being recorded or if it would just bore your pen-friend because taken out of its time context it’s of no importance nor interest. Maybe that’s just another reason why postal correspondence is looked at with something like disdain today. You can’t just kill your time with it, but you need to put a lot of thought into your choice of topics and words. 

At this, dear reader, I leave you and allow you some time to think. I hope that you had a good time in my company. 

With kind regards,
Edith LaGraziana

The Art of Writing Letters

Power of Words
by Antonio Litterio

During the past seventeen years I've often been asked why I indulge in snail mail correspondence. In general, people understand the purpose of corresponding with someone who lives far away, usually in another country. They can relate to the wish to stay in touch, to improve foreign language skills, to learn about other cultures, to talk about a common hobby, to exchange experiences and ideas, etc. etc. Most of them, however, find it very bizarre to do it the old-fashioned way using paper and ink when there are more modern and more immediate means of communication available. They imagine that it must be rather frustrating to be watching out for the postman every day to deliver the long awaited answer from a penfriend. They are wrong!

In snail mail correspondence time is of secondary importance. Every letter from a true friend is welcome however long it may have taken her or him to reply... as long as s/he wrote with at least a minimum of care. There's hardly anything more harmful to a penfriendship than letters that are dashed off without much thought and that contain nothing but empty phrases as it happens so often in e-mails and posts on the internet. People like me who enjoy writing letters are often introverted, but correspondence definitely is the wrong activity for people unwilling or unable to open up to others. Those who don't want to reveal their true character are well advised to start writing a diary instead of snail mail letters. Or if you find it hard to tell the truth, you might consider writing fiction.

A true amateur of snail mail correspondence will pay a lot of attention to her/his letters and not just writing them. S/he will choose the notepaper with care or will even create her/his own paper like I do. I prefer handwriting my letters because I feel that it's part of expressing myself and showing my penfriend who I really am. To me typed letters always seem a bit matter-of-fact, even sterile. However, there's nothing to be said against typing (in some cases it's even a blessing!) provided that the letters are personal and not just addressed printed matter to put it bluntly. Someone who commits herself/himself to writing letters should always keep in mind that s/he conducts a dialogue and that it's up to him/her to anticipate the reactions and feelings of the other. I admit that the latter is not easily achieved. In fact, it's almost like playing chess against yourself. The reward for all the effort is worthwhile, though: a deep friendship.

In a nutshell, for me and my likes letter-writing is much more than just connecting with people and passing a good time with them. A good letter needs devotion and thought like a piece of art. In fact, letter writing is an art.

Snail Mail Correspondence

It’s characteristic of our modern society that both in English and in German we speak of snail mail (Schneckenpost) when we refer to letters sent or received via postal services. It’s true that transporting an envelope from one point to another takes time, but does such an exchange really deserve being named after a snail? Is it so slow? In fact a letter sent from Graz uses to be delivered to any place in Austria the next day or the day after. Within Europe you can be somewhat sure that your letter will reach the recipient in two to five days. Letters leaving the continent can take longer, even much longer depending on the reliability of the postal service concerned. My only negative experience in this respect regards the USA: whenever I tried to establish a pen-friendship with a person there, one out of two letters got lost. Maybe the Bermuda Triangle swallowed them? In any case my letters never turned up again.

However, today’s postal services in general are quick and reliable compared to those of former times. Yet, modern written communication is digital and typed. E-mail, sms, instant messaging, social networks, chat. Everything less immediate is called outdated and a waste of time. Literature is keeping up pace. While Lizzy Bennet penned dozens of long epistles to her family, friends and even Mr. Darcy, Bridget Jones spent much time on the phone and in front of the computer typing short messages. Of course, it’s futile to compare the nineteenth century’s means of communication with those of the last years of the twentieth century. Jane Austen was a woman of her era and so is Helen Fielding. Times have changed a lot. Life is faster-moving than ever. We are more hurried, more superficial and more careless than ever. Who do you think knew more about the character of the person with whom she was exchanging letters, Lizzy Bennet or Bridget Jones? I reckon that the answer is quite clear.

Is it a big surprise to know that there are still some people like me on this planet who indulge in handwriting letters to their friends? We are few and ever less, but we are keeping alive an old tradition and an art. We do this with pleasure and against all obstacles like rising prices for stamps, letter-boxes being removed over night and post-offices being closed at virtually every corner. It doesn’t even matter to us that some people look at us as if we were aliens from another planet or time. We enjoy sitting down to take a sheet of nice letter-paper (if we can still find one that matches our character, one that is neither ugly nor dreadfully infantile) and a pen for writing to a friend. For a little while we step aside from the usual hustle of life and leave ourselves to the flow of words. What could be better?